Researchers tested five exercises meant to make people happier. The one that beat them all asked people to thank someone in person.
Researchers Asked 577 Adults to Deliver a Thank-You Letter in Person. It Gave the Biggest Lift in the Whole Study. It Also Took Them a Week to Do.
In a 2005 study in American Psychologist, Martin Seligman and colleagues followed 577 adults for six months. The gratitude visit produced the largest positive changes in the whole study, for about a month.
Most of us have someone we never properly thanked. A teacher, an aunt, a neighbor, a grandparent who quietly made things possible. **The thank-you stays on the list of things we mean to do.**
In 2005, a team led by psychologist Martin Seligman put it to the test. They gave adults a short list of exercises and tracked their happiness for six months. One of them was simple and a little frightening: **write a letter of thanks, then read it to the person face to face.**
The result is worth knowing, and so is its limit. It is a study about gratitude, not about families, and the effect did not last forever.
1. Five exercises, 577 adults
The researchers recruited **577 adults through a happiness website** and randomly gave each person one exercise to do for a week. Some wrote down three good things each day. Some wrote about a time they were at their best. One group, the placebo, wrote about their early memories each night.
The gratitude visit group had a bigger ask. They were given **one week to write, and then deliver in person, a letter of gratitude to someone who had been especially kind to them but had never been properly thanked.**
The hardest exercise on the list was also the one with the biggest payoff.
2. The biggest change, for about a month
Right after the exercise, the gratitude visit group was happier and less depressed. The paper says they **showed the largest positive changes in the whole study**, and the boost held at the one week and one month check-ins.
By three months, though, they were no happier or less depressed than when they started. Two quieter exercises, three good things and using a strength in a new way, built more slowly and **were still working at six months.**
A thank-you lands hard and fades. The habit of noticing good things lasts longer.
3. What this does and does not tell us
This was a self-selected group of website visitors, mostly well educated and mostly white, so the authors themselves note limits on how far it generalizes. And it measured happiness, not relationships.
What it does show is that **saying the thing out loud, to the person, did more than almost anything else on the list.** Many of us picture that thank-you as something for later. The study gives a small, real reason not to wait.
The people you owe a thank-you are mostly still reachable. The words only count once they are said.
Participants in the gratitude visit condition showed the largest positive changes in the whole study.Seligman, Steen, Park, and Peterson, American Psychologist, 2005
What you get with LifeScribe
- A 2005 study in American Psychologist followed 577 adults for six months after one week of a single happiness exercise.
- Delivering a letter of thanks in person produced the largest change in happiness and the biggest drop in depressive symptoms, lasting about a month.
- The effect faded by three months, while quieter daily habits built more slowly and lasted.
- Built on documented research: Seligman, Steen, Park, and Peterson, American Psychologist, 2005, volume 60, issue 5, pages 410 to 421.
Start free, with nothing to lose
You do not need a perfect letter. Just a phone call, free. Ari asks about the people who shaped you and the things you never said, and keeps your words in your own voice for the people you love.
The thank-you you have been putting off does not get easier with time, and the person on the other end does not get more reachable. The stories of who helped you, and what they meant, are worth saying aloud while someone can still hear them.
Say it while they can hear it. Keep it for the ones who come next.
Ari calls and listens, so the thank-yous and the stories behind them are kept in your own voice for the people you love.
Questions grandparents ask us
What did the study actually find?
A 2005 study in American Psychologist found that adults who wrote and delivered a letter of gratitude in person showed the largest gains in happiness and the largest drop in depressive symptoms of any exercise tested, with the effect lasting about a month.
How was the study done?
The researchers recruited 577 adults through a happiness website and randomly assigned each to one exercise for a week, including a placebo of writing about early memories. They checked happiness and depression right after, then at one week, one month, three months and six months.
Did the gratitude visit last?
Not on its own. The boost was still there at one month but gone by three months. Two quieter exercises, writing down three good things a day and using a personal strength in a new way, kept helping at six months.
Does this apply to family?
The study did not look at families specifically. It tested gratitude toward anyone who had been especially kind. Carrying the idea into family life is our reading, not a finding of the study.
Who ran the study?
Martin E. P. Seligman, Tracy A. Steen, Nansook Park and Christopher Peterson, published in American Psychologist, 2005, volume 60, issue 5, pages 410 to 421.
https://getlifescribeapp.com/blog/a-thank-you-that-took-a-week