Researchers paired strangers for a 15-minute online chat, and changed how many questions one of them asked.
Researchers Had Strangers Chat for 15 Minutes. The Ones Told to Ask More Questions Were Liked More, and Most People Did Not Expect That.
In a 2017 study, Karen Huang and colleagues found that people who asked more questions, especially follow-up questions, were better liked by their partners.
Most of us walk into a conversation ready to talk. We think the way to be liked is to share a good story of our own.
Researchers at Harvard tested that idea. In one experiment, **strangers who chatted with a partner told to ask many questions were liked more than strangers whose partner asked few.**
The study was about getting to know someone new, not about families. Still, it points at something simple that many of us skip with the people we love.
1. They changed how many questions one person asked
In the first study, **430 people were recruited and paired for a 15-minute online chat.** After the researchers' exclusions, 398 were analyzed. In each pair, one person was randomly told to ask **at least nine questions.** Another was told to ask **no more than four.** Their partners did not know about the instruction.
Afterward, each person rated how much they liked the one they had chatted with.
One small change, set at random: more questions or fewer.
2. The partners liked the question-askers more
**People paired with a high question-asker liked their partner more** than people paired with a low question-asker. The gap was real but modest, and the partners also rated the question-askers as more **responsive**, meaning they felt listened to and cared about.
The authors point to the **follow-up question** as the key. A follow-up shows you heard the last answer and want more of it. The team also built a program to spot follow-up questions in text, and ran it on face-to-face speed-dating conversations. Daters who asked more follow-ups were more likely to get a second date.
Asking is a way of listening out loud.
3. Most people did not see it coming
The authors also report that **people do not anticipate that asking questions makes them better liked.** We tend to expect that talking about ourselves is what wins people over.
Here is the honest limit. These were **strangers in a short chat, not families,** and the study did not test stories, grandparents, or recording. The authors also caution that too many questions, or rude or repetitive ones, can backfire.
The pull to talk is strong. The question after the question is easy to forget.
People do not anticipate that question-asking increases interpersonal liking.Huang, Yeomans, Brooks, Minson, and Gino (2017), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
What you get with LifeScribe
- A 2017 study paired strangers for a 15-minute chat and randomly told one partner to ask many questions or few.
- Partners of the question-askers liked them more and rated them as more responsive.
- Follow-up questions mattered most, and people did not expect that asking would make them better liked.
- Built on documented research: Huang, Yeomans, Brooks, Minson, and Gino, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2017.
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What did the study actually find?
In a 2017 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who asked more questions, especially follow-up questions, were better liked by conversation partners. In the first experiment, 398 analyzed participants chatted online for 15 minutes with partners told to ask many or few questions.
Who ran it?
Karen Huang, Michael Yeomans, Alison Wood Brooks, Julia Minson, and Francesca Gino. It appeared in volume 113, issue 3, pages 430 to 452.
Can asking too many questions backfire?
The authors caution that it can, particularly with rude or repetitive questions. The study found a benefit from asking more, not from asking without limit.
Does the study say anything about families or recording stories?
No. It tested conversations between strangers and speed daters. It did not test families, storytelling, or recording, so this page makes no claim about them.
https://getlifescribeapp.com/blog/the-question-after-the-question